I think it’s safe to say we’ve held true on the the false starts. Please believe me when I say that the frustrations are here along for the ride also.
We are beginning to find ourselves being dragged down by this daily grind. This is not a special thought – nor is it an original one. It is a notion shared by enough of us for it to be something of a common experience. Something we might call an “accepted inkling”. A “familiar impression”, if you will. We do these things, and involve ourselves in a certain pattern of life in order to feel safe. It is perhaps brought upon us by habit. Or maybe even a want to feel involved and a part of something. What drives it I do not know. What I do know, is that its killing us.
I’ve felt the creative bite (or perhaps that should be gnaw) at me several times recently. There is a thought that lives in the very back of my mind that suggests that, if I am to do anything with this word thing that I occasionally find myself falling back to, I should probably get some kind of professional help. And perhaps it should be soon if I am to make the most of this inspiration-without-energy.
We’re a few short days off November. Not long ago I considered out aloud that perhaps I’d give NaNoWriMo another shot, which is something akin to an aged runner coming out of retirement a week before the City to Surf, thinking “Yeah, that could be fun.” Actually, no. It’s more like someone who once considered maybe going for a jog to the shops but never actually got around to peeling himself off the couch, deciding one day as he wheezes his way towards a bus that’ll probably leave without him anyway, maybe tomorrow he’ll get up before work and try going for a 40 kilometre run.
I don’t run so I’m not entirely sure the analogy works. I bought a pair of sneakers once, with the intention of using them on a treadmill. Which I did. Twice. They’re still in rather good condition, if anyone is interested in buying them? 
For sale: Running shoes, barely used.
I am unfit – physically and creatively . While my intentions for NaNo were good, they were also probably a little ambitious. See also, very. I still intend to give something a shot, but I know it’s not going to be anywhere near 50,000 words. At this stage, if I can come up with a nice, 1 page letter to my Nana by the end of the month, I’d be pretty happy.
What was once a short time but now seems to be an age ago, I twatted:
I have 2 heroes in life. One is Batman, the other just shook my hand and told me to stay out of allys. #lamefanboy
It was in reference to one of many events I really wish I’d capitilised on at the time. One of those experiences that I should’ve turned into something more. That grabs you and screams in your face “You should be doing more!” Now it sits as a happy memory, living somewhere between laziness and apathy. Between exhaustion and indifference.
Between false starts and frustrations.
 They’re not really for sale. I’m hoping to get at least one or two more uses out of them. Maybe. Besides, they look really good sitting next to my unused WiiFit.
 I originally wrote ‘mentally’ instead of creatively, but that’s another matter entirely.