coming soon: Guitar Hero: Warriors of What?

Hey there Guitar Hero,

Y’know, you and I have had some really great times. Me, with my fake plastic guitar, rocking out to hit songs from Muse in Guitar Hero III, and then Muse in Guitar Hero: World Tour, and who could forget that Muse song in Guitar Hero 5? I mean, you even let me rock out as the guy from Muse! He was even really, really short. Just like in real life.

But with the good came the bad, and as much as I like Muse (seriously, can we just go ahead and put out Guitar Hero: Muse and be done with it?), I can’t help but think that maybe you and I have begun to grow apart. Sure, we had some laughs with Guitar Hero 5, but even you have to admit, the spark just wasn’t there. Not like it used to be.

That whole Kurt Cobain thing left me a bit cold too. I mean, I’m not one to take these things too seriously, but letting me play as zombie Kurt Cobain (who looked, credit where credit’s due, like an actually, really real life zombie Kurt Cobain) while rocking out to Public Enemy and Anthrax, lacked some of what most people would call… taste.

Anyway, you’ve got a new game coming out, and even though it looks exactly like the same old shit, you and I both know I’ll probably end up buying it anyway. I’m predictable like that. And your bitch. I guess I’ll see you sometime later this year.

Fuck you.


P.S. Could you at least look at letting me import all of my songs over from the last 17 versions of the same game I bought? Cause Rock Band lets me do that. It also lets me have a little credibility as a fake plastic instrument player by not trying to placate me with shitty looking celebrity based avatars. Have you played Rock Band? You should. It’s pretty ace.


Author: Mark Ampersand

Budding writer, connoisseur of fine popular culture and Batman fan.

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